Did you know that 70% of couples who engage in some form of therapy report positive improvements in their relationships? If you and your partner are experiencing difficulties, whether it be recurring conflicts, affairs or external stressors, experts suggest seeking therapy to rebuild your relationship.
However, picking the right therapist is important because therapy is most effective when there’s a good fit between the couple and therapist. To help, here’s a brief guide on what to look for in a couple therapist.
Qualifications and Credentials
Couple therapists in Singapore come from various professional backgrounds. Examples include social workers, counsellors and psychologists who receive professional training to help couples solve their issues through therapy
However, a few requirements remain true regardless of the background. All couple therapists should possess a relevant postgraduate degree and be registered with a recognised professional body like the Singapore Association for Counselling (SAC) or the Singapore Association of Social Workers (SASW). This ensures they adhere to strict ethical codes and maintain professional competence. Don’t hesitate to ask potential therapists about their qualifications and areas of expertise.
Experience and Specialisation
While qualifications are crucial, experience in couples therapy is equally important. Therapists seasoned in navigating the complexities of relationships will be better equipped to guide you. This is true for both married and unmarried couples, as they’ll need a therapist with expertise in relationship dynamics to help them resolve their marital conflicts.
Therapeutic Methodology
A therapist’s methodology is one of the most significant factors regarding what to look for in a couple therapist. Therapists employ diverse approaches to guide couples. Some common methods include:
Structural Family Therapy (SFT)
Structural Family Therapy (SFT) focuses on understanding and addressing family dynamics by examining the structure of interactions and relationships within the family system. It emphasises boundaries, hierarchies, and subsystems to identify and change dysfunctional patterns. The therapist often takes an active role in restructuring the family system to promote healthier communication and relationships.
Choice Theory Reality Therapy (CTRT)
Choice Theory Reality Therapy (CTRT) is a unique form of psychotherapy founded on the principle that humans are inherently driven by five basic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun. CTRT asserts that all our behaviours, even those that seem problematic or destructive, are ultimately attempts to satisfy these needs. However, our choices don’t always lead to positive outcomes. In couples therapy, CTRT can help partners understand why they act the way they do, and take responsibility for their choices, and work together to find healthier ways to meet each other’s needs and strengthen their connection.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is a type of talking therapy that focuses on the connection between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. The aim is to identify unhelpful or negative thought patterns that contribute to difficulties you may be experiencing. CBT therapists help you challenge these thoughts and develop more balanced ways of thinking. Alongside these cognitive changes, you’ll also work on modifying behaviours to improve your coping mechanisms and overall well-being. CBT provides a valuable framework for couples therapy by helping partners understand the cycle of negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviours that can drive relationship problems. It equips couples with the tools to challenge unhelpful thought patterns, improve communication skills (like active listening and using “I” statements), and develop problem-solving strategies for working together.
Solutions-Focused Therapy (SFT)
Solution-focused therapy (SFT) is a goal-oriented approach that concentrates on building solutions rather than dwelling on the origins of problems. It highlights a client’s strengths and past successes, helping them envision a desired future and develop practical steps to achieve it. Solution-focused therapy (SFT) can be a useful methodology for couples therapy by shifting the focus from problems to desired outcomes. It helps couples identify times when their relationship is working well (“exceptions”) and explore what they did differently in those moments. This approach fosters a sense of agency, emphasises positive changes, and promotes a solutions-oriented mindset that can re-energize a relationship and build stronger communication and collaboration.
The Gottman Method
The Gottman Method equips couples with a practical toolkit for managing conflict constructively and building intimacy. Developed by Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman, this research-based approach emphasises communication skills and emotional intelligence. Gottman therapists help couples identify their bids for connection – subtle attempts to connect with their partner – and express needs effectively. They also teach partners how to manage conflict with respect, focusing on problem-solving rather than blame. A key concept is the Gottman Meta Overlook, which encourages couples to maintain a positive perspective on their partner, even during disagreements. This method is well-suited for couples who want to improve communication, address frequent arguments, and build a more respectful and harmonious relationship.
At Safe Expanse, our therapists are equipped with a suite of training and experience to take a personalised approach in working with your and your partner on your challenges. Instead of focusing on a single fixed method, we prefer to adapt the methods to each couple’s needs and style as far as possible to facilitate growth towards relationship goals.
Compatibility
The first session with the therapist is an invaluable opportunity to assess compatibility. This is not just about the therapist’s expertise; it’s also about feeling comfortable enough to be vulnerable and open. Does the therapist create a safe and welcoming environment? Do both you and your partner feel heard and respected? Does the therapist’s communication style feel approachable and easy to understand? These are all questions that you and your partner need to consider when choosing a therapist. Remember, you’re not locked into the first therapist you meet. Trust your gut – a good fit is essential for successful outcomes.
At Safe Expanse, our therapists are not only trained in couple therapy, but they also have years of clinical and social work experience under their belt. For more effective therapy sessions. For more effective therapy sessions, Safe Expanse therapists make it a point to tailor our approach for each couple. This is done by getting an assessment of our clients’ needs and the unique issues that they face.
Logistics
Consider the therapist’s location and the ease of accessing their office, especially if you are coordinating busy schedules. Also, inquire about appointment availability, including the possibility of evening or weekend sessions to accommodate your work commitments. Make it a point to involve your partner in this as you both need to ensure that it’s feasible for both of you.
Conclusion
Finding the right therapist is the first step on your journey towards a stronger and more fulfilling relationship. Remember, you’re not alone. By prioritising qualifications, experience, and a therapeutic approach that aligns with your communication styles and goals, you’ll be well on your way to finding the perfect fit.
Don’t hesitate to ask questions during consultations and trust your intuition to find a therapist who fosters a safe and supportive environment for open communication. Lastly, we also recommend checking out reviews to gain insight into a therapist’s effectiveness and get a better idea of their overall approach. With dedication and the right guidance, couples therapy can be a transformative experience that will change your relationship for the better.
If you’re looking for a couple therapist, then you’ve come to the right place. At Safe Expanse, we aim to provide a safe experience for our clients to expand their ability to connect with themselves and others, and in the process grow to experience more freedom and aliveness in their being.